Content of the article:
For many married couples, the issue of housing becomes relevant than ever. Some girls do not hide the joy of luck to marry a man with an apartment. Others cannot make a final decision at all: whether to associate with them with a man without an apartment or not. We would like to outline the prospects of such couples in the future, of course if they take place.
Working rings
While the possibility of acquiring personal housing is not in the near future, a young family has to live with parents, or as an option — rent an apartment. There are frequent cases when a constant stay in one living space with parents leads to negativity in the interpersonal relations of her husband and wife. This is due to the fact that one representative of the pair did not change the living conditions at all, and the other is in uncomfortable conditions for himself. This naturally brings inconvenience, but perhaps this situation also has the right to exist.
The joint accommodation of different personalities with distinguished views on life in a predominant number of cases is accompanied by conflicts at every step. A traditional conflict template arises between a son -in -law and a father -in -law, mother -in -law and a daughter -in -law. Let’s look at what are the reasons for these extraordinary family.
Mother -in -law and daughter -in -law conflict
Pros and cons of residence with parents
The list of disadvantages can be slightly blocked by certain advantages:
The young family does not need to spend finances on renting an apartment, buying furniture and household appliances for its arrangement, since they are partially or completely on the maintenance of parents. This plus with the right approach for some time can be turned into a “big jackpot”, which can be spent on vacation, entertainment or even buying an apartment, at least for the first time on a mortgage. On the other hand, such a situation crosses out the individuality and independence of the young family, they lose the opportunity to plan the family budget correctly.
The moment of creating a new family
The pluses include the possible help of parents in solving various issues, such as the upbringing of grandchildren, all kinds of household problems, etc. For most, it is unlikely that they will be unpleasant to support their problems with a truly friendly attitude. If this happens, it is possible that this will strengthen the relationship of families. And the mushrooms do not forget about the folk statement that there is a lot of evidence «Two housewives in the kitchen will never find something in common». Based on her experience, the mother -in -law will not like how the daughter -in -law is preparing dinner, and the daughter -in -law, in turn, is how her husband’s mother raises her child. Such a thing as mutual assistance in these typical situations is inappropriate.
Warm relations between parents are a great example for a new family and their offspring and vice versa, if parents do not live without quarrels and reproaches, such an example is “contagious” for their heirs. For this reason, not one recently newly -made family applied for divorce. It is also impossible to allow the fact of excessive care of parents, since this emphasizes the constant dependence of children on them. As a result in the future, they will not be able to act independently and make the right decisions without the participation of an extraneous point of view.
The housing issue is relevant for many young families
It costs a lot when parents can give good advice to a young couple, especially when it has a need. It is important that this advice speaks in a goodwill, and not as an order with a tapping with a fist on the table. Tips in this form are not perceived, and in most cases they are simply ignored.
Therefore, let’s finally answer the question of how to live better: with parents or separately??
In order to correctly answer this dilemma, I need to take care of the relationship in each specific family. Psychologists of family relations always recommend young couples to live separately, let it be a rented apartment, but the desire for independence in the future means a lot. Independent life is a pleasant microclimate, moral comfort, good self -esteem of personality, self -confidence. Remember, the world and people are not eternal in it, the time will come when parents stop taking care, and you, in turn, must become their help and support to provide them with a worthy old age.
The reasons for conflicts
It is very difficult to live a young generation with parents, in this situation there are many situations that have to be taken out on a joint veche, as a result — disputes and disagreements. These reasons are very different, but they can also highlight the general fact that led to this is the appearance of a new “member” in the family. Hostility to the second half of the «native blood» is the most common cause of the conflict. It is possible, but probably it happened, the foundation of hostility was laid even before the wedding. This aggressive quality can also be different: hidden and hostile. Only a person with a particularly persistent psyche can withstand these regular psychological pressure and emotional stress.
Accommodation with parents is not always the right decision
Another significant reason is the household troubles. The appearance of a new person entails the need to change their former habits in everyday life, adapt to a son -in -law or daughter -in -law. These household shocks, of course, cannot but reflect on the irritability of parents.
The next reason for conflicts is age difference. The probability of finding a common language of the young and older generation in a residential environment is minimized. There is also a misunderstanding between the spouses due to the fact that one of them sometimes adheres to the position of their parents. Parents rarely deny themselves the pleasure of taking a direct part in the affairs of the young family, and excessive teaching, as you know, no one likes to like.
Sometimes everything develops very well
A different cultural and intellectual level makes its mark on the specifics of the development of conflicts. The existence of parents and a young family in terms of life principles, priorities, religious inclinations are often so different that it is simply impossible to do “perestroika” in their views.
Well, the last painful source of the conflict is the differences in the material condition of both parties — parents and young family. In most situations, the decision to settle with parents is caused by the fact that the latter are much better provided. With the course of time, they express their reproaches, as they contain and raise the newlyweds to the feet.
Relations of a young family with parents
Peaceful life with parents is possible
So that in the same house to live comfortably, there is constantly consent, and there were no conflicts, several simple tips must be observed:
Feel free to discuss problems;
Show respect and attention to each other;
communicate more;
take into account the opinion of everyone;
Exclude increased tone in communication;
Listen to advice;
Daughter -in -law and mother -in -law how to be?
Conclusion:
As a result, I want to say that it does not matter with the apartment your husband or not, the main thing is love between you and sensual relationships. In such an environment, all big problems turn into small problems, because there is always a person who can caress you and support you near you. Therefore, love and do not pay attention to reproaches and displeasure from strangers. Most likely, this is only one from the methods of manifestation of their envy.
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